Dead on Arrival

So, yeah.....

An update into the radio world; I sent out resumes and tapes to WXRT and WDRV for part-time on-air DJ positions. They're both owned by The Bonneville Corporation. Those were sent out last Tuesday, along w/ taxes. So, they probably didn't get them until late last week. God, I hope I hear from them soon.

The S.O.B. and I had two meetings w/ our boss at MBC about the future of the station, whether we'll get full time, get an actual on-air signal to make a sports station out of, where the money will come from....all the fun stuff. We wrote up a business plan for the station. I guess the plan was OK. It seems that the boss might be too indecisive about bringing us on full-time.

Lately, I've been questioning my decision about going into radio. Some days are just rough. There's very few job openings in radio, let alone in the third largest market, which, coincidentally, is what I call home. Chicago. I have no money to move anywhere, and can't afford to live off of the $8/hr. I get from Lowes and the station. It works out well for the time being, being for the time that I'm living at home. However, I don't have any financial concerns due to living at home and am down to paying off just one credit card from the three that I had. I'm also looking into buying a new electric guitar w/ my tax rebate check, rather than saving it. Hey, the government said to spend it, so why not listen to them for once?

I'd like to find something that I'm passionate about and find a job doing that. The downside is I'm too flip-floppy. One day I want to do that, the next day it's this, then next week it's something totally new. What the fuck? Granted, I'm only 23, and have been out of school for not even one full year. Yet, I've now gotta compete with the newest crop of grads coming out and everyone else that's still looking. I wish I had something; a great writing ability, drawing/painting, photography, singing/songwriting.....anything. I've always had the ability to make people laugh, but I can't seem to write anything worth adding to the stand-up routine. Nor, do I have the ways manageable to translate anything funny into some sort of a script, yet I used to love script writing.

I don't really have a whole hell of a lot of motivation right now, either. I haven't been to the gym in weeks and haven't gone running in as long. I've pulled my guitar out the last two days for the first time in weeks, so that's better, I suppose. Maybe it's the 5-2's I'm working that just seem to beat on me. I look forward to the weekend, but too often it flies by, like a night of great sleep (which I never seem to get anymore). The weeks, too, fly by. All too often, before I know it, I'm staring at Friday, wishing to hell that Saturday and Sunday would crawl by. I guess this is what they mean when they say, "wait 'til you get older."

Time for dinner. I'll probably wake up tomorrow feeling much better, maybe. Either way, I need something new/different/major to spruce things up (that means something good) to drag me out of my funk.