Bear down, Chicago Bears are down

In My Life

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Tom. I've been a Chicago Bears fan for 24 years. I'm 24-years-old, which means: I'm a lifer.

Call it the Kevin Garnett syndrome, but I can't pull myself away from bad Chicago sports teams (Bears - 1 Super Bowl; Blackhawks - haven't won the Stanley Cup since......wait, I've gotta take off my shoes to count...the 1960-1961 season, that's 48 years; White Sox - 1 World Series title in over 50 years; Bulls - well, we had the 90's).

Now, on Labor Day Weekend, the end of the boys of summer (the way the Sox are playing, only 1/2 game up on the ever lovable Twins - fuckers, it looks like it'll be soon), brings on the men of autumn.

Normally, I'd be thrilled. Notre Dame football (oy vey). Chicago Bears football (oy ve......deja vu?). Hell, football (yay)!

But, after going 1-3 in the pre-season, the Chicago Bears don't look like the "Monsters of the Midway" of old. They just look old.

Yes, I know it's the pre-season, which means the games don't count, but the ticket prices do.

Quarterback problems aside, Devin Hester is God. Pictured to the right, is God, contemplating how he was not able to save the Bears from the Colts in Super Bowl XLI (41, for you Roman Numeral impaired).

From there, the Bears went down a spiral known as the "losers of the Super Bowl." Last season, after going 13-3, they went 7-9 and chances are they're not looking much better this season. Hello 1st pick? Hello. Well, they may not be that bad, but, they'll still be top five drafting.

That's something even Devin can't control.

I've thrown my heart out there for Caleb Hanie, the current 3rd string quarterback, behind Kyle Orton (the starter) and Rex Grossman (not the starter). However, rumor mills are circling that Hanie may not make the squad.

Hanie, in the pre-season, against third string talent went:

29/49, 321 yards, 3 touchdowns, & a qb rating of 82.1.

Grossman's rating? 78.4. Orton? 87.1. Yay Orton. Of corse Orton was the only one to play against quality talent. More often than not, Grossman looked confused. Blitz 'em and he's done. Hanie, however, looked cool, poised, and dare I say, calm? Yes Hanie played against 3rd and 4th stringers. But, he was an undrafted free agent out of college. But, when the Bears cut him, it'll light that fire under him and he'll get signed by Detroit (Lions, are you reading this? Because you should be) and destroy us like Brett Favre did for so many years in Green Bay.

But, one guy that was cut, that left me scratching my head is Mike Hass, the former Saints wide receiver. Hass, a kid who knows how to play football, with decent hands and a good size. A decent WR on a team that's suffering from WR's. Does that make sense?

Turns out that Hass was never a favorite of Lovie Smith (ah, finally, the point of today's blog). Much like Mark Bradley who's been in Smith's doghouse since the beginning of time, Hass never stood a chance. But, 59-year-old Marty Booker? We sent him to Miami and now we got him back. Welcome to the wide receiver graveyard - thanks Moose (it's possibly the smartest thing you've ever said).

It is true though. Chicago is a graveyard for wide outs. Quarterbacks can't throw to them, due to lack of skills, be it arm strength or a lack of an offensive line. But, look here too. Running backs seem to be our saviors, Thomas Jones...Rashaan Salaam...Walter Payton. So the O-line can't be that bad. Cedric Benson though, he was the devil in disguise.

This looks like a season that the front office needs to turn things around, quickly. 7-9 or worse, and the echos from the windy city will be calling for the heads of Jerry Angelo, Lovie Smith, Bob Babich, well you get the point.

My prediction: 5-11 with some heads on a serving platter.