A Quarter Life Crisis

It might be a quarter life crisis, or just the stirring in my soul - John Mayer, "Why Georgia"

I'd apologize for the lack of updating of the blog, or the John Mayer quote - but, I'm busy and I like John Mayer.

Over the last few months (read: this hasn't been updated since May) I've been working a lot. Sure, it's money, and affords me the things I like to do (read: drink), but it takes up my time - almost all of it. But, in this economy, if you have a job, you should be thankful - and I am. In my mid-twenties, with a job, a couple of roommates and a fat dog. It's not all bad - trust me. I assume most of this shit is in my head, which is where it is for everyone.

But, I've come to that proverbial fork in the road - left, right, straight, north by northwest, south by south east? You get the point. If you don't, here. We all get to that point in the road - some of us love it, some of us don't care either way. It keeps some of us up at night for weeks in a row. I'm one of those people.

Time to put up or shut up.

I don't know what to do next. I've got a few options, which is great! A lot of people don't have options - beggars can't be choosers. But, each one has a question...don't they all?

Allow me to introduce item "A" to the jurors.

Do I go back to school to get my masters? Then, if I do, do I get it in my field - or something totally off the wall? Chances are, it'd be in my degree field. But, then would there be a job after I get out of school? Should I leave my full time job to go back to school to risk not having a job when I get done? Seems a bit fucking insane, no?

Do I go back to school to get my masters while working part-time in my field?

If I go back to school and get something in my field, then it may depend on which school has the best program - location becomes a key issue as to if I can even find a part-time job while going to school.

What if I don't go back to school and just continue to work full-time? Then there's that regret feeling - maybe, 10 years down the road, married with children while working full-time, I decide to go back to school.

If I go back to school, and I look back on it, and never needed my masters - how much of a waste would it be?

(BRB - taking Sox to the dog park).

And we're back.

So, it wouldn't be bad for the extra education and having more than one degree wouldn't be too bad. But, what if I really didn't need it? That's a lot of money to throw out there...

Then there's evidence section "B" - forgive me if this incorrect, but I guess it's clear I won't go to law school.

What if I don't want to continue to work in my field? Then, do I go back for a random degree? I don't know what it would possibly be in - outside of teaching (more on that in a moment). Sure, I've got hobbies - but nothing that I could really turn into something that I'd love doing for the rest of my life. I'm not nearly good enough to even think about playing the guitar as a studio musician, nor have I honed any of my bier drinking skills to have the slightest clue about brewing it (but I could learn). Maybe writing - I love to write short stories, but there's a lot of people that do, and well, I can do that along side any sort of job regardless of what it is or where it's at.

Teaching is something that I've thought about doing since before I graduated college - but not as far back as to wanting to have majored in teaching. I'd like to teach high school communications/journalism. I want to solve the crisis (that's not too big is it?), in that I want to prepare the next batch of journalists for what it's really like out there. I love in-depth journalism - ground-breaking/someone-is-going-to-jail-because-of-this/someone-is-going-to-cry-because-of-this/this-will-stop-a-war kind of journalism. None of this "meet the deadline" quota filling stuff. Oh, 750 words? OK. No, I love the stuff that when you read it or watch it or listen to it, you think, "wow, someone gave a shit. Someone cared"

Think big, work small.

Then there's the whole "what if I just need a change of scenery?" I need to be where the weather suits my clothes. I own a lot of t-shirts and shorts. Flip flops to the extreme. I'd love to be outside, doing something, having fun - not in front of a computer (like you are now, like I am as I write this ramble). It would be way-too-fucking-cool to be a deep-sea fisherman (not like in those Discovery channel shows, but in the tourists rent a boat and go fish for an afternoon). If not anything else, it would allow me to wear this hat. I'd love to have a job that I needed to wear that hat. But, again, I know nothing about deep sea fishing. I've never been on a safari, so how could I wear that hat?

I'm not an adventurous person by nature, it's really not my style. Maybe that's what I'm so afraid of. The whole fear of the unknown. But, you won't ever learn how to swim if you don't jump off the diving board.

But, what if I can't swim?